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Not Ready for Sex After Baby?

Just because your OB/GYN says you’re ready to have sex, doesn’t mean YOU are ready to have sex!

The 6-8 week mark is just a guideline to ensure your body, internally and externally, have healed enough for penetrative sexual activity. MOST moms are not interested in having sex this soon (but if you are that’s great! Go for it with your doctor’s ok!). Many moms feel totally exhausted, covered in baby spit-up, and ‘touched out’ from taking care of baby all day and night, especially if they’re breastfeeding.

Women typically need to feel emotionally ready to be intimate with their partner in addition to feeling physically ready. After we have a baby, it is common to have a decreased libido. Not only do we oftentimes feel ‘touched out’, but our hormones can negatively affect our sex drive. Our body and brain are busy taking care of a tiny newborn who's totally dependent on us. It can be very difficult to switch gears and want to have sexy-time with our partner.

Everything you’re experiencing is normal, but that doesn’t mean you don’t deserve support around it all! Telling your partner how you’re feeling, emotionally and physically, can help you both feel closer to each other. You can also discuss other non-penetrative ways to be intimate that might sound more appealing to you until you’re ready and willing to engage in sex again.

If you feel like it’s taking too long to want to have sex, and it’s bothering you – or it’s bothering your partner – talking to a therapist can help relieve your concerns.

One in five moms will exhibit symptoms of a Postpartum Mood and Anxiety Disorder (PMAD) like postpartum depression or anxiety. It is crucial to discuss your concerns with your medical provider or a therapist who is training in perinatal mental health.

If you feel hopeless, have significant difficulty eating or sleeping, feel excessive worry, agitation or don’t want to be around your baby, call a mental health professional to get support. Professional treatment is necessary and will help you heal and feel more like yourself again.

At Sage Tree Therapy, we're trained to recognize the impact perinatal mental health concerns can have on you as an individual and on your family. Take the step to call someone for help. We're here to help. Call (314)485-SAGE or email

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