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Self Care and Your Sexuality

Updated: Aug 23, 2021

Have you noticed that the pandemic has affected your sex drive?

Well, you're not alone! Welcome back to our weekly emails, this week we dive into our sex drive and how it might have changed over the last few months. We've seen some pretty interesting articles written on the subject in recent weeks so I decided to link them to this post. 


Covid-19 has destroyed your libido? You’re not alone. By Sunny Fitzgerald  Sheila Addison, a licensed marriage and family therapist, points out that in Esther Perel’s book “Mating in Captivity,” Perel talks about desire and how it’s often felt most intensely when there’s some kind of separation. Even something as simple as sitting in the audience, watching your partner give an acceptance speech or putting on their uniform to go to work helped create those moments of “separation” in our pre-pandemic lives. But now, Addison says, “when we are constantly on top of each other, we don’t have the chance to long for one another.”


Everyone is having different experiences when it comes to the impact of this moment in time on their libidos. Some, in the face of all this, are reporting that their libidos are increasing while others are reporting a decline or, as someone described it to me, “It's like it’s dropped off a cliff."


Check out this comprehensive guide to all things sex during these 'unprecedented times'. From sex with a partner, dating sites, masturbation, etc. 


A recent study from Turkey found that women’s sexual desire and frequency of intercourse increased during the COVID-19 pandemic, but their quality of sexual life decreased. The findings are published in the International Journal of Gynecology & Obstetrics.

In the study of 58 women, women participated in sexual intercourse on average 2.4 times per week during the pandemic, compared with 1.9 times in the 6-12 months prior to the pandemic. Before the pandemic 32.7% of participants desired to become pregnant, compared with 5.1% during the pandemic; however, use of contraception decreased during the pandemic.

Menstrual disorders were more common during the pandemic than before (27.6% versus 12.1%), and participants generated worse scores on a questionnaire based on sexual function during the pandemic compared with scores before the pandemic.


So what does this mean for YOU?

Whether we're single, partnered, dating, straight, gay, sexually inexperienced or have a history of sexual trauma, healthy sexuality is a part of who we are. 

Wherever we may notice ourselves falling on the spectrum of our sex drive, it's important to view our desire to have sex as a healthy and wonderful part of self-care. If this is something you ever feel like talking to Elizabeth about in therapy please know that you're more than welcome to! She will try to make an effort to ask about this integral tenant of self-care along with her frequent questions related to sleeping, eating and energy.

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